“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you,
not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.”
– Jalal ad-Din Rumi
A dream come true.
I dreamed him into being.
A few words about my background: I had been in and out of Love’s Revolving Door many times before. It was so easy for me to “fall in love,” thinking my new lover was perfect for me and shouting from the rooftops “This is the one!” Family and friends, considering me the romantic version of the Boy Who Cried Wolf, would smirk and say, “We’ve heard THAT before. Let’s see how long this one lasts.”
“No, I mean it this time!” I would cry, trying to convince myself even more than them, yet time after time, my relationships would fail. I would wake up after a few months or years and find, “This guy is totally inappropriate for me. He’s emotionally unhealthy, an alcoholic, a cheater, an intellectual or spiritual neophyte, etc.”
The problem is, I was in love with falling in love, the rush, the high, and I was acting out of neediness, jumping into a relationship immediately after ending the last one.
What I know now is, it’s brain chemicals. The dopamine of infatuation turns us all into dopes! We absolutely cannot trust our judgment once we are in lust. What I call “The Honeymoon Goggles” can make anyone seem perfect… for a little while.
There must be a better way to find lasting love, I thought.
Meanwhile, I had been journeying on an increasingly spiritual path, climaxing with an unplanned shamanic initiation in Mexico in 1994, in which I experienced three near-death experiences (NDEs) in 18 hours! Each time, a MIRACLE took place, my life was saved, and my vision expanded exponentially to the degree that I was seeing energy in everything and everyone, seeing sacred symbols and spiritual guides and hearing divine messages continuously.
Fortunately I had a friend/guide/ spiritual midwife on this amazing journey or I would have thought I was crazy. When I came home, and back to my body (which actually took three months), I found out that I had experienced a classical shamanic initiation, with nightmares in which I went into the Earth and was attacked, and the death-rebirth cycle and expansion of my ability to both perceive and move energy.
Other results of my initiation included incredible physical healing and tremendous creativity. I no longer felt I was writing when I wrote, I was just taking dictation. Hundreds of poems and songs flowed through me that first year of my new life, and I took this divine dictation about matters of love, writing hundreds of pages which would ultimately be published in The Radiant, Radical Self-Love Guidebook and course, and The Angelic Love Activator Soulmate Manifestation program.
I was told The 4 Steps to Higher Love:
1. Love Yourself! Unconditionally (Really, unconditionally, even radically)
2. Heal Yourself on All Levels (Body, Mind, Heart, Soul… Past, Present and Future)
3. Clarify Your Heart’s Desire… then and only then can you successfully:
4. Manifest Your Mate!
Tall orders, yes, but I was also very fortunate to be receiving specific exercises, with increasing clarity on EXACTLY how to do all of that, almost like a how-to cosmic recipe book for cooking up lasting love!
So, I followed along, writing and enacting the instructions, riding the wave, an amazing journey to finding my soulmate.
Such specifics were the very key that I knew I had been missing my whole life, at the level of my head that I needed to love and heal myself, figure out exactly what I wanted, and attract my right soulmate.
One of the major areas of spirituality and healing that I had been studying, researching and practicing intently since becoming a shaman in 1994 was that of sacred dreaming.
By this I mean utilizing one’s night dreams for guidance, healing and spiritual awakening. I discovered that virtually every culture in the world has always recognized dreams as gateways to the divine, and that somehow with the emphasis solely on the psychological aspects of dreams, the tremendous spiritual power of dreams had been largely undiscovered or repressed in Western culture .
Thus, perhaps it made perfect divine sense that a shaman specializing in “love magic to manifest my mate” and “sacred dreaming” would be guided to ask for a dream of her future partner. I had found, in researching sacred dreaming, that ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Celts had all practiced Dream Love Magic, using the power of prayer and intention to summon one’s divine mate to appear in dream life, then in waking life.
I created my own simple dream incubation prayer and stated it just before falling asleep: “Loving Spirit, please bring me a dream of my mate. Let this dream take whatever form is for the highest good so we may find one another this lifetime if that is our destiny. Thank you.”
After just a few nights, I had this dream:
I am radiantly drifting through a shimmery cosmos when I see another glowing human form floating toward me. He is shining with love, with light. His smile fills me, makes my heart burst. I stop. I look at him, in awe.
I ask, “Are you the one?”
He replies, “Yes, and I will be with you in a few months.”
I notice that he has blue eyes, dark hair, and a beard. His handsomeness is more than physical, and I am magnetically attracted to him. I fly into his arms, enveloped by his tenderness, wrapped in an infinite compassion that has spanned eternity. I embrace him with all of my being.
We are one.
I am home.
When I awoke, I knew this had been “more than just a dream.” I still felt filled with golden light, and a boundless joy flooded from my heart.
I knew that I had just reunited with my soulmate, and that he was coming to me, not only this lifetime, but soon!
Then my small mind-self started kicking in, and I began to worry. How would we meet? What if I didn’t recognize him? This was too wonderful to risk losing! My eyes opened, but I still felt connected to him so I immediately clamped my eyes shut again, holding onto him a little longer.
I dashed out urgently: “Wait! Don’t go yet! Tell me, how are we going to meet? How will I recognize you? What’s your name? What do you do for work? I DON’T WANT TO BLOW THIS!!!”
He gave me an it’s-going-to-be-all right smile and peacefully reassured me,
“My name is Mark. I’m going to answer your personals ad, and, as for work, well,
I’m more of an artistic type… I’ll see you soon.”
And he was gone.
But not completely because since that dream, our connection remained almost tangible.
I recorded all this information in my journal, and shared this gem of a dream with a select few people whom I knew would respect its power. I continued to float on Cloud 9 for months, knowing that very soon I would touch my beloved again!
My life through college was meaningful and exciting. I had been given many stimuli as a child and had seen many places through road travels and through living in different states of the union. I also concentrated on spiritual paths and explored esoteric ways in a quest to learn about myself. I had been interested in the interpretations of Eastern mystical practices by Georges Gurdjieff and P.D. Ouspensky since my teenage years, when my folks were involved in “The Work.”
Yet despite the CULTURALLY RICH blessings of childhood, I was quite shy in school social circles, especially in high school, which I attended in three different states, always the new kid on the block.
These were the challenges that my soul had chosen this lifetime, and as a result, I rarely dated and never had any steady relationship during this time. After getting out of college and pursuing my interests through mainstream avenues of employment, my longings for relationship faded while I focused on making a living.
After moving to Berkeley, California, the doors of serendipity opened, marking my entry into an intimate small Sufi discussion circle, where I was exposed to the magic of life for about ten years. Here the roles of introspection, sound and visual meditation, mystical practices and transmissions, self-work while receiving constructive criticism via the mirror of truth held by my teacher, all built within me a greater sense of confidence, purpose and discipline. I found greater inner peace, friendship, contentment and growth. I also underwent a series of shamanic experiences with owl medicine and other things of Spirit.
Then, for some reason, I decided to check out the personals ads. It started out merely as a form of entertainment, yet on some deeper level, I really was truly searching for my mate. I answered some ads and questioned within myself about what I really wanted from partnership. I compared the potential pleasures of relationship to what I was enjoying as a single person. One of the big lessons I got was that life is both a game and a dream with the possibility of growth and learning.
The other big lesson was to have balance in life. I loved the life I was leading and was not about to give that up. So, if I was going to be at all serious about sharing life with another, I knew I had to make a commitment to myself, as well as my beloved.
“Never lose yourself in relationship. Be honest with yourself and others” became my inner mantras guiding my search.
Meanwhile, I continued to do all the practices I was being shown by my guides, realizing that just because I was now on Step 3 (clarifying) or Step 4 (manifesting), I would never be “done” with the ongoing, lifelong work of steps 1 and 2 (self-love and healing).
I kept getting higher and higher on life, but still felt a deep longing to touch my soulmate on the Earth plane. Because of the psychic dream, I knew my beloved was going to answer my personals ad, so here is a funny story to demonstrate my humanness and how Spirit saved the day.
One night, I was feeling an intense desire to find my sweet Mark, so I strolled out on the Berkeley marina and gazed up at the moon somewhat longingly and plaintively asked, “Is it time?”
I felt kind of a “no” for an answer, but, well, I didn’t really want it to be a no, so I asked again. “Not yet” I heard/sensed/felt, buuuuut, I really, really didn’t want to wait a second longer, so I told myself, “Maybe I heard that wrong. Maybe I just made that up out of fear. My intuition isn’t 100% after all. Maybe it was more of a ‘nyes.'”
So I foolhardily mailed my personals ad (which I was just SURE was ready, having spent three years revising it!) to a local newspaper. I maied it in plenty of time for my ad to appear in the next Thursday’s newspaper. When the day came, I rushed to the newsstand, frantically turning the pages, looking for my ad, where was it? Where was it????
Not there. What? I was crestfallen. I called the newspaper and bitched, whined, moaned “I sent you that 10 days ago! Why isn’t it there?” blah blah blah.
I was told, “We’re so sorry, we never got that ad. Why don’t you try emailing it in to us instead? It’s faster.” So, goshdarnit, I emailed it in that very hour. Ran to the newsstand the next Thursday. Pawed through the pages, desperately seeking… my ad… my mate…
IT WASN’T THERE! AGAIN!
OK, I admit, at this point my Highest Self was gently whispering, “Didn’t you hear that ‘No’? It’s not time yet. Trust. Have faith.”
But did I listen? Noooooo. I called the newspaper again, irate, blasting not only a phone-answering, gatekeeping rep, but the supervisor as well. “What is wrong with you people? What do I have to do to get my ad published????”
Again, “Goodness, we don’t seem to have any record of that email. How can that be Tell you what, why don’t you give us the ad over the phone right now, and we’ll give you a confirmation number.”
Sure enough, I gave them every word, got a confirmation number.
And, again, you guessed it, raced to the newsstand a third time.
All right, all right, I get it, I admitted sheepishly. Guess I just need to “Let go, let God” longer, eh? Fine. I’ll stop trying to make this happen.
That’s when I realized I wasn’t really on Step 4 after all.
Because what I was interpreting as “readiness” to find my mate was actually that old clutchy “neediness.” I was impatient because I was still running need energy.
So this time I really let go of needing my mate and actually stopped thinking about it. Just lived my life. Enjoying my friends, family, work, creative projects, nature, home… life.
I can honestly say I surrendered on a totally different level to where I really felt like, “You know what? It’s really OK if he never shows up. Life is already so good!”
A month or two later, there I was at the Berkeley Marina pier again. Another full moon night.
I looked up at the moon and asked again, much more calmly and respectfully, really OK with whatever answer I might get, and I asked “So?”
I felt a warmth come over me, a gentle “Yes… ” that does not need to race or bitch or wonder. Just a peaceful “Yes, it’s time.”
A day or two later, when I felt a certain inner shift, I very quietly emailed my ad in, for the fourth time. This time, the ad came out.
This time, my mate and I were ready. This time, as Spirit knew would happen, beyond my limited human vision, the right pair of eyes read my words, the right heart felt the tug, the delicious invitation to the dance. And he answered my ad.
I know that if my amazing angels hadn’t stopped the ad from going through three times in a row, I would have gotten in Another Wrong Relationship, and probably would have missed the loving opportunity beyond all ecstasy. Thank you, angels!
And on December 21, 1997, we found each other again. In Cafe Roma, in front of a dozen bemused Berkeleyites, we screamed at the top of our lungs:
Flew into each other’s arms, burst into tears and laughter and bliss and wonder and…
The most amazing part?
From that “better than Hollywood” moment of reunion, it has just gotten better and better!
When I was pretty clear about the type of relationship I wanted, then trust, prayer and ritual came in to play. It always feels good when you know exactly what to ask God/Great Spirit for! Then I found my sweetie’s ad. It was attention-getting and out there (the headline was “SEXY SHAMAN”!), but it said all the right things. It felt right on.
My next step was to test what kind of person she really was, so I used an ancient Sufi technique. I responded to her ad three different ways: by phone, by e-mail address that had a spiritual sounding name, and by e-mail that I used for professional purposes. Through each of these, I communicated in a different style with a different focus to see which she would respond to.
Sage responded to only one of my messages: the spiritual email. I thought, “Aha!” This unleashed a torrent of lengthy emails written back and forth, as we shared and got to know one another first, before ever meeting. We then began to have long phone conversations, even while preparing meals and eating together! This all clicked and we scheduled to meet on the winter solstice. All the signs that day pointed to something big. I heard more fire truck sirens in Berkeley that day than any other during my time living there, and there was a huge pagan gathering in People’s Park.
We met in a College Avenue cafe and immediately recognized one another as the being we have danced with through many other lifetimes together, embracing one another shouting, “Its you!” All heads turned.
Our first date was an explosive experience I will never forget. We went to Point Reyes National Seashore for a picnic. Ravens are one of my totems and seeing them is always a strong sign for me. Driving through rural Marin County, we saw them literally by the hundreds flying high in the sky. Everything flowed in a magical way and was truly one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had with another person.
Our picnic lasted 15 hours and included drumming to a full moon that was not supposed to be in the sky that night!
We knew this was it as we were joking “Kris Kringle, jingle, jingle, we’re no longer single!” We cuddled and kissed through the night and returned to Sage’s car at the cafe at 5:15 a.m., not wanting to part but knowing life would never be the same. And it has been a great experience ever since, now 20 years running, and our love just gets deeper with time.
We resolve conflicts respectfully, and I can honestly say that I can count on one hand the number of real “fights” we’ve had, in 10 years! We are both committed to our own personal growth and to planetary transformation and see our relationship as a vehicle for spiritual awakening and positive change on so many levels.
And we are raising our two sons in a conscious, very loving way. Sage supports my genuine need to continue to honor my own interests, such as having solo time for art and vision quest. So many relationships are an energy drain. For the first time, I have a relationship that enhances my life and celebrates the real me.
This is us laughing hysterically at some joke, not knowing our friend was taking a picture! We 4 are dressed for a Renaissance Faire. Can you tell we know how to have fun?
First our souls then
our eyes met
our hearts leapt
“It’s you! Again!” we cried
Tears of joy streaming down our amazed faces
Jumping in delirious ecstasy
Melting into the pool of bliss
Beholding only one another
Eternity begins again
* * *
We wish for you
a love that knows eternity with each touch
a love that treasures and celebrates your truest, best self
a love that enchants and inspires you every day
a love that is always with you
that can never be lost or forgotten
a love you desire
a love you deserve
a love you embrace with your whole being
Better than your wildest dreams
Grander than your greatest visions
In the perfect place
In the perfect time
May you manifest love
That is divine!
Sage & Mark
Below Is A (Brief) Photographic Retrospective of Us
Over the Past 20 Years
Earliest photo of us (in this lifetime!)
January 1998 – We’d been reunited about 2 weeks.
Mark got me to wake up at 4 am (OMG if you know me, you KNOW I am so NOT a morning person!!!! Proof of true love right there!) to join him in recording the sounds of the Dawn Chorus. Birds, birds, glorious birds!
Us doing HeartLight tantric meditation circa 2003
Us kissing in Yosemite in 2013
Sign is misspelled
Comment below if you get the joke!
(Come on, grammar & spelling geeks, unite!)
Us kissing at Kylemore Abbey Victorian Garden, Ireland
Just after renewing our wedding vows, July 2015
Us in our front yard 2017
Rev. Sage Taylor Kingsley-Goddard, CHT, RM, The Prosperous Goddess™, is an
award-winning Law of Attraction expert, and highly gifted Archangel Michael Channel.
Sage manifested her Twin Flame soulmate, now husband of 20 years, million-dollar+ income, Dream Home, hot tub, global travel, new cars… –
You name it, she can manifest it, and she can help YOU manifest it too!
Sage and Archangel Michael created the Angelic Abundance ActivatorTM which was voted “The #1 BEST Law of Attraction Program on Earth” by people in 18 countries!
Now their Angelic LOVE Activator applies these powerful R-Evolutionary Science + Spirit techniques to help you manifest lasting SOULMATE LOVE.
Sage is also the creator of the romantic board game, Passion Play!, which the Playboy Catalogue called, “The best romantic game ever made” and the heart-opening
Radiant Radical Self-Love Guidebook and online self-love immersion course.
Sage passionately empowers heart-centered women – and some very special men –
to love yourself and life more joyfully than ever, manifest your Divine Right Mate,
connect with the Divine, PROSPER, THRIVE & SHINE!
Brightest blessings on your path to Higher Love!
Explore Sage’s main website at:
### Copyright Rev. “Sage” Taylor Kingsley-Goddard 1994-2018
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And be sure to send Sage a courtesy email to Sage@LoveandSpirit.org
with a link to your blog or place where it is published. Thank you and blessings!
Your comments are warmly welcome!
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